American Idol’s top six contestants performed this week, and it should now be clear to everyone (EVERYONE!) that Candice Glover is the best singer and the best person and will win this season, and will be crowned the real winner of the past four seasons as well, because she is a goddess who can also time travel through the power of song.
Despite Candice’s divinely ordained presence, AI‘s ratings haven’t been doing too hot this season. So, what theme did the producers choose to liven up this sinking ship? Why, a night of songs written by Bacharach/Hall of course. What’s that? You’re not 40 years old and therefore have no knowledge of said mid-20th century songwriting duo? Congratulations, neither did anyone else watching! Idol didn’t even try to make this theme relevant by forcing the top six to monologue about how influential Bacharach/Hall was. That was actually a moment I was kind of looking forward to, considering Lazaro knows exactly NO songs in Idol’s catalogue.
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